A Wife's Work: A Nest of Love

"What is the value of a housewife?" Dr. Alice Von Hildebrand answers our question. For, as she will propose, a wife accomplishes far more in her ordinary tasks than any hired help could. The reason? Draw your own conclusions, but part of the answer is clear. The wife's work is sanctified by her love. And, the fruit of that sanctified work, is nothing less than a home.

"Home must be much more than just a place to sleep and eat. It should be that mysterious enclosure in which your two lives can take root; a place where you both are sheltered and protected. The place where you can rest spiritually and can dare to be yourselves because you know you're loved.

Each of you [husband and wife] now has a calling to create this spiritual space in which your two lives can blossom.

Your own mission as "wife" goes far beyond household chores which could be done just as well by hired help. You must create a nest of love, a place where it is good to be. Let your love for your husband transform the small, boring, tasks of everyday life into magnificent works of love.

And, new light is brought to washing dishes and doing laundry. For, when you do them with love, the everyday becomes magnificent.

When we look to the Cathechism of the Catholic Church, we find that all of it rings true. As it says, we were created for work. Even before the Fall. And, work was created to bring things to perfection.

378 The sign of man's familiarity with God is that God places him in the garden [in Genesis]. There he lives "to till it and keep [the garden]". Work is not yet a burden, but rather the collaboration of man and woman with God in perfecting the visible creation

Couple that concept of work - and, its original purpose - with our Catholic identity, and you can begin to see just how a wife's work [who is united to Christ] can be sanctified by her love. And, how her love can be sanctified and perfected by her work.

901 "The laity, dedicated as they are to Christ and anointed by the Holy Spirit, are marvelously called and prepared so that even richer fruits of the Spirit maybe produced in them. For all their works, prayers, and apostolic undertakings, family and married life, daily work, relaxation of mind and body, if they are accomplished in the Spirit - indeed even the hardships of life if patiently born - all these become spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

In the celebration of the Eucharist these may most fittingly be offered to the Father along with the body of the Lord. And so, worshipping everywhere by their holy actions, the laity consecrate the world itself to God, everywhere offering worship by the holiness of their lives."

It almost appears that the work of a housewife is not only valuable - but, irreplacable. So it is.

And, our work is redemptive by virtue of our vocation as "wife". For, we are dedicated to Christ. And, it is out of reverence for Him, that we live as we do.

2427 .. By enduring the hardship of work in union with Jesus, the carpenter of Nazareth and the one crucified on Calvary, man collaborates in a certain fashion with the Son of God in his redemptive work. He shows himself to be a disciple of Christ by carrying the cross, daily, in the work he is called to accomplish. Work can be a means of sanctification and a way of animating earthly realities with the Spirit of Christ.

In the work that we are called to accomplish as a wife, let us never forget that the small, boring tasks of everyday life are simply waiting to be transformed into magnificent works of love - through our true and honest "Fiat".

To Serve and Protect

For our weekly Fiat meeting, we moved it outdoors to a beautiful park. Here we sat close together at a park bench, while our children enjoyed the playground nearby.

And as open as the space was, we all sort of "opened" ourselves to some personal issues that we face in our relationships.
In reflection of our discussion, I found "To serve and protect" a fitting theme.

In a very personal atmosphere, we shared stories of how our marriages required from us need to protect it from influences that could be potentially harmful. These influences are not foreign to us, but rather very close. They are the people that we have as our own family - whether immediate, extended, and/or in-laws.
Situations and circumstances that surround our families affect us and how we relate to them.
And it could be anything really - from their ideas on child rearing to their own lifestyle choices. Some of these choices they make are harmful, not only to themselves but to the people surrounding them.

Some of us ladies have children - and naturally this "warrior mother" comes out and we want to protect our own family from the ills of the world. But, it is such a delicate line to be drawn when it is protection against the ones close to us.
And even for the other ladies that do not have children yet, the situation still does exist - how do we go about addressing and then reconciling particular differences?

First and foremost, we must serve Our Lord - meaning that if we are faced with situations and/or circumstances that are offensive to Him, we must make the appropriate steps to rectify the situation for His Glory. Especially when it comes to our vocation - the work we do in relation to our vocation is a vital componet of how we serve Our Lord.
And one thing must do is protect the dignity and sanctity of our marriages.
We must prayerfully discern what the appropriate steps are to amend our current situation - and after that, we must still pray- for everyone involved, that they will be sanctified admist it all. We must also pray that we do not have a malicious or resentful heart, but a pure one.

However, this work is not easy. It is heart wrenching- and can lead to some undesirable after effects. It can cause separation from family and a rage that feels unjust. It can create inner turmoil and anxiety. But it is our cross.
And in the midst of this work, we must realize that God is with us. His Hand is here with us and He is telling us this as we watch Him carry His cross to be crucified, only to resurrect on the Third day. For Our Lord beat ALL odds, so that we might enjoy eternal life in Him.

This is our Comfort - this is our Hope.

And in addition to all of this, we have our Holy Mother to whom we can ask to pray for us.

I'd like to take this opportunity to enclose a prayer we can say in times of need.

From the Mother's Manual: Mary, Help me!
Holy Queen, mother of mothers, consolation and protectess of all Christian motherhood, Mother Mary, help me.
In all trials and sorrows that come into my day, dear Mary, help me.
When I am tired with my labors and despondency is upon me, dear Mary, help me.
When all looks dark and I find none to speak a consoling or cheering word, dear Mary, help me.
When I am wearied by by the weight of countless vexing little things and my patience is sorely tired, dear Mary, help me.
In the impatience and rudeness of others, by the example of your mildness, dear Mary, help me.
When others speak sharply to me and I would speak harshly in return, that I may show gentleness of your own kindly speech, dear Mary, help me.
When my efforts seem to bear so little fruit and to be so little appreciated and I am discouraged, dear Mary, help me.
When a thousand worrisome distractions and annoyances come into my day and it seems so hard to keep my peace of heart, dear Mary, help me.
When all others seem to fail, then especially with the sweet support of your gentle aid, dear Mary, help me.
In all things, Mother, assist me! That I may, like you, with patience turn all my trials into spiritual treasures; that I may grow ever more like you, the cherished Queen of the most Holy Family, dear Mary, help me!

Prayer and Fasting

Saturday will mark the return of San Francisco's 25th annual "Folsom Street Fair". For those of you who aren't familiar with it, I think you should be. If anything, it will make you grateful for the ability to make reparation.

The Folsom Street Fair draws a crowd of over 350,000 annually, to the streets of San Francisco. All ages are welcome, and encouraged, to attend. It's been simply called a "Gay Pride Parade" but, it's much more than that.

The Folsom Street Fair promotes full nudity and public sex acts. If that isn't enough to convince you that something has gone terribly wrong, perhaps this will:

The main promotional poster of the fair in '07 was a distortion of Leonardo da Vinci's "Last Supper". It featured 13 scantily, leather-clad men and women representing Christ and the apostles, seated around a table cluttered with sex toys; two of which, took the place of the bread and wine.

Is motivation behind the Folsom Street Fair, beginning to take shape? Let's solidify the image.

"In one instance that was particularly offensive to people of religious faith, during last year's festival, a female stripper was hoisted in a cage over a Roman Catholic Church during Mass."

Ridiculous. And, in case you're wondering why this type of activity isn't prohibited by the police, here is the answer:

"One San Francisco policeman told us that the police were instructed not to make arrests for indecency on the city streets, but merely to 'contain' the activity to the street fair, which encompassed several city blocks."

Does this seem absurd to anyone else, but me? James Dobson has a few thoughts on the matter, himself:

"This event distorts and degrades sexuality, which is a gift from God. While citizens in California can’t stop private sinful and disturbed sexual practices, they can speak out against this public event.

For the police to turn a blind eye to these illegal and indecent displays of depravity, and the city's elected officials to 'celebrate' this sort of public obscenity, is unconscionable."

Since this is such a distortion of true love, life, and freedom, we thought that those of us living in the Culture of Life should take this opportunity, for a little prayer and fasting. Here's what we had in mind:

On Saturday, September 28th, we encourage the husbands and wives of Fiat and F.I.A.T. to offer reparation, for all that will be promoted and encouraged during the Folsom Street Fair. Here are a few suggestions to choose from.

Husbands:

• Take Saturday as a day to fast or abstain from meat, in reparation.
• Make a 15 minute "holy hour" in the middle of Friday night (in your home), for all those involved.
• Preform and act of Charity, on Saturday.

Wives:

• Pray a Rosary or a Chaplet of Divine Mercy on Saturday, as an act of reparation.
• Make a 15 minute "holy hour" in the middle of Friday night (in your home), for all those involved.
• Preform an act of Charity, on Saturday.

A little sacrifice, when done out of the love for Christ, can certainly go a long way. Whatever you choose to do, we encourage you all to use your marriages to sanctify our culture. For, what else are we called to image with our spouse, than the very relationship between Christ and the Church.

Work Ethic

As Rosanne wrote in her recent post, we met on Wednesday to discuss #1604 in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. And, as she pointed out, one woman said that in our vocation as wife, we become a prayer. 

But what, exactly, transforms us into prayer? We found the answer rather quickly: it is our work. Specifically, it's the constant call to be a continuous act of love that we encounter in our daily duties. And, what a beautiful way to look at the daily requirements of a wife and a mother. For, when you really think about it, it's nothing less than that. 

But, isn't work something difficult? Doesn't work, itself, drain us of our energy and rob us of the charitable spirit we desire to have? Not necessarily. Let's go back to the beginning, even before the Fall. 

• 378 The sign of man's familiarity with God is that God places him in the garden [in Genesis]. There he lives "to till it and keep it". Work is not yet a burden, but rather the collaboration of man and woman with God in perfecting the visible creation.
  

So, there is our answer. Man was made for work. And work was made for man. Specifically, work was made as a sign of God's familiarity with us, so that man could collaborate with God in perfection. Now, that sheds new light on washing dishes and folding laundry. Regardless, it's our reality. 

But, let's remember that God made man male and female. And, that is an essential piece of the puzzle. In fact, it's everything. And, that brings us back to the Catechism, yet again.

• 1604..Since God created him man and woman, their mutual love [husband and wife] becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves man. 

Not only is our spouse an image of God's love for us, the love between a husband and wife is an image of God's love for man. So, what are we called to do, as husband and wife, with this love that is so great as to image God's very own perfect and infinite love for man? You guessed it. We're called to work. 

• 1604.. And this love which God blesses is intended to be fruitful and to be realized in the common work of watching over creation: “And God blessed them, and God said to them: ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it.’”44
  

So, the next time you're overwhelmed by the work that you have to accomplish in your day, remember that work is the original way that God called us to communion with Him. It's the original way that He called us to bring things to perfection.

And, if you feel like your household chores are less than an adequate reflection of the original work that we were called to do, keep in mind that that work was nothing more than tilling a garden. 

Now, that's Work Ethic. 

The musings of bare piggies, chocolate joe joes, and the horizon of love

Ah, the joyful moments of "bare piggies" and "chocolate joe joes". I don't know about all of you, but I am sure that I wouldn't want one of my bare piggies stepped on - and just for clarification, "bare piggies" is the new name for exposed toes. 

Oh and what are chocolate joe joes? Well, you might want to ask one of our little ones, when they walk out of the kitchen with chocolate cookie crumbs all over their face. Sure enough, many of us went into the kitchen to grab a few!

Anyway, we commenced with our weekly meeting and continued on in the Catechism, reading #1604- after a thoughtful, collective pause, we spoke about the horizon of love that we experience in a marriage. 

First of all, it is necessary to realize that it starts with prayer - and as one woman mentioned "we become a prayer, there is no distinction between our duties and Jesus". Sounds familiar doesn't it? This a reoccurring theme in our meetings, recognizing that our vocation is in communion with God. However, it is one thing to merely know that, it is another to exercise it in spirit.

Here the power of prayer can be harnessed. And without sounding redundant in any way, we can and should unite ourselves completely in Jesus, with our duties as wives.

And since we are on the "horizon of love" we read in #1604 of the Catechism "God who created man out of love also calls him to love-the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being. For man is created in the image and likeness of God who is himself love." It goes on to say, man and woman "their mutual love becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves man." 

Gorgeous!

Look at that - the love we share with our husbands becomes an image of how God loves us. Now ladies, when you see your husband today- remember that! And I'm sure those butterflies and rosy cheeks will arise. What a gift, that through our husbands, God shares His love with us. 

It also very good to remember that our marriages are images of God's love, when the times of hardships come along and we have to "protect and defend" our marriages. With the temptations of the world coming at us in different angles, we need to coat ourselves with the strength of Christ to endure these inevitable trials. 

These trials can come in many forms, whether it is something external of the marriage, like other family members or friends,- or something very close and intimate, like our own individual struggles that affect our significant other. The art of balancing our partnership, can be perfected in these times. When one is weak, the other must be strong - and praying together, while doing good works can be a miraculous remedy for any problem.

And when the times are fruitful- we discover this urging need to share the love of Christ with others. Our marriages inspire us to do beautiful works. We begin to see the world, the way God wants us to see the world- a place where we can plant seeds of His Love in His Name. Our little marriage units are destined to do great things- God has asked us in a particular way, to exercise the gifts we have been blessed with. Each marriage has a particular inclination -a particular calling that we have to discern and prayerfully carry out. How fun! Something to do with my loved one, for the One who loves us!

Love, love, love -what a wonderful thing.

Holiness for Housewives

In his book, Holiness for Housewives, Hubert van Zeller writes: "it is a common mistake to imagine that only formally arranged prayers are to be prayed. Anything can be prayed ...and if you can pray while you are reading, you can pray while you are writing. And if you can pray while you are writing, you can pray while you are doing pretty well anything. This brings us to the use of brief, spontaneous prayers and to the practice of the presence of God"

So yet again, we have proof that our labors can be prayers that we can use to bring us closer to God -wow, what a relief! And I'll tell you, I can use all the reminders I can get.

However I do want to include some "formally arranged prayers" that can aid us in our vocation, when the days get rough:

Prayer when exhausted by housework

Lord, I am sick to death of making beds, cleaning , and all the other jobs that go into keeping this household together. Grant me a clearer sense of my vocation to this work so that I may think less of the drudgery and more of the spiritual opportunity that it gives me.

Be with me in the duties of my day; and when, as now, I feel like dropping from fatigue and boredom and I long to be rid of it all, rouse in me a spirit of endurance and greater generosity.

Help me to make more of an effort to model myself on You. The daily work in the house at Nazareth was not without its hardships, and in the work of Your ministry later on, You were both weary and pressed for time. Help me to remember this when I find myself being suffocated by housework. Amen

Prayer in time of exasperation

Lord, my interruptions are almost more than I can bear. Give me patience. Help me to suppress my irritation for Your sake. Help me to see this provocation as being sent by You for the perfecting of my soul. If I do not let it act for my good will, it will inevitable act the other way. Lord, let the surface of my soul be calm, so that it may reflect Your image and Your will. Amen

Prayer when in a bad mood

Lord, I am in a shocking state of mind. I feel as if I ought not to be praying at all: I am too disgruntled for recollection and generosity and good resolutions and all those things that are necessary to Your service. But it is better to try to pray now than merely to give in and indulge in my poisonous humor. Lord, show me how to deal with myself when rebellion and bitterness well up in me and make life seem far more of a burden than it is. Show me that the remedy lies in submission to You and not in wallowing in self. Amen

Where the Heart Is

Part of our vocation as wife, involves something that is often mentioned in our society, but perhaps never truly understood. But, the beautiful thing about being Catholic, is that we are given the fullness of truth. 

 

We often hear that home is where the heart is. It's an interesting thing to ponder: just where the heart might be. 

St. Therese elaborates on the subject for us. More specifically, she shows us how our vocation as wife (and any vocation) can truly be where the Heart is. She writes:

"As I reflected on the Mystical Body of the Holy Church, I could not recognize myself among any of its members described by St. Paul. Or, was it not rather that I wished to recognize myself in all?

But, Charity gave me the key to my vocation. I understood that, since the Church is a body composed of different members, She could not lack the most necessary of all the bodily organs.

I then understood, therefore, that the Church has a heart, and a heart on fire with love. I saw, too, that love alone imparts life to all the members, so that, should love ever fail, apostles would no longer preach the Gospel and martyrs would refuse to shed their blood.

Finally, I realized that love includes every vocation, that love is all things, that love is eternal, reaching down through the ages and stretching to the uttermost limits of the earth.

Overcome with joy, I cried out: 'O Jesus, my love, my vocation is found at last! My vocation is love.' I have found my place in the bosom of the Church, and this place, O My God, Thou hast Thyself given to me. In the heart if the Church, my Mother, I will be love."